Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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