for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
