talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
