I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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