Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
