dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
