Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
