I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
