lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
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