Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
