you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
