I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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