fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
