You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
