NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize