the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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