Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
