I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
