I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
