weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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