so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
