Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize