But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
