After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
