well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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