You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this just has baby written all over it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
