I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
