My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
