somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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