you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
