I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
