We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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