He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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