oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
