What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
