I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
