her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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