my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
