U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
