I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
