I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
