i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
