so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
