he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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