just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
