I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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