Umm I'm too high to move.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize