I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize