you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
