Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
