She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
