the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
