Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
