hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
