ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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