fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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