Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
