I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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