none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hippo gnu deer
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
