Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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