The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
whose parrot is this?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize