I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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