I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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