Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
